Forbidden Secrets
by Emmamil0904
Summary: Gate's and the NYPD says that they are not allowed to be together, but what happens when Castle and Beckett share a few... forbidden secrets.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a new story that I'm trying out... the next chapter is already half written. I have wanted to write a Castle fanfiction and of course, I had to base it on Caskett! The updates will probably be slow because I'm still working on 'Unexpecting' and 'More Than Love' which is on my Wattpad account. Hope you like it a little bit :/**

**Obviously not my characters or anything (although I wish they were,) just using them for my own little bit of writing.**

* * *

The night was a particularly chilly October night, a light gathering of fog looming over the lights of New York city, whilst cars still flew down the heavily littered streets, even at three o'clock in the morning . In a certain suburban area, not too far from the prescient where they worked; Kate laid in the arms of one man, one man who happened not to be Josh; her boyfriend. No. She happened to be resting on the bare chest of one Richard Castle; naked skin pressed up close to her own. The long eyelashes which were dotted around her muddy orbs, fluttering closed, every time that Rick thrust gently into her; as she sent out moans of pure bliss that her boyfriend had never given her.

Alexis and Martha just happened to be out that night; where the audience of Washington DC were able to watch the newest version of "My Fair Lady," in their presence; having nothing to do with Rick; of course.

_Poor waiters.. _Was the first thing that popped into his head, knowing that his mother was the most impatient, hard headed guest they could possibly thought was soon rid of though, as the tingles of Kate's perfectly manicured nails down his muscular torso knocked him back into reality.

He let out a pleasure filled sigh as his eyelids battled to stay open, for the sheer enjoyment of having her in his company.

_"Kate" _He groaned softly, as they both drew closer to the edge; both fighting to withhold their release.

_"Castle." _

He captured her already swollen lips in a searing kiss, nibbling at her bottom lip ever so slightly. She parted her mouth involuntarily which immediately became occupied with Castle's tongue as both of them fought for dominance of the kiss.

They pulled away breathlessly , as Kate became tighter and tighter around her lover. She could feel the heat burning in her stomach, the intense pain that rippled throughout her form getting more and more noticeable as Castle placed loving kissed over her eyelids; before getting lower and lower; dotting them over her collarbone.

_She is cl- _

And before even finishing his thought, both of them climaxed; their bodies wracking together, as they rode it out. He pulled out of her minutes later and enwrapped her into his arms, as she placed her head into the crook of his neck; inhaling the fresh scent of their bodies mingled together.

"God, I love you, Kate." Castle whispered; tucking a piece of her vanilla scented hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek in his hand; stroking it gently; which made Kate's body relax almost instatntly.

"Mhh...I love you too," She replied, before drifting into the best night's sleep that she had had in a long while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine, nor are the characters; I just use them for my own imagination. **

**I'm on a roll today! Just wrote this in like 10 minutes, and I have just finished Unexpecting, Chapter 30 off.. Now only 'More Than Love!" **

Kate awoke to the sound of her work phone blaring out "The Boy's are back in town," knocking her out of the best dream that she had come across for a long while.

The lights were dimmed to a low setting, candles the only really source there; illuminating the golden tanned skin of her lover. She felt the cool tingles of his palm against her silken thigh; drawing closer and closer to her core, as their lips pressed against each others'. Just before he reached her pleasure spot, his hands left her; before trailing along the line of her spine, bringing the shivers straight back to her.

"Castle."

She sighed, as she grabbed the phone off of the bed side table and pressed 'accept', only to hear the sound of Esposito's groggy, morning voice down the end of it.

"Beckett."

"We've another one."

"So, what we got here?" Kate asked Lanie as she wrapped her creme trench coat around her waist in the cool October breeze; whilst wishing that she had her usual expresso macchiato, to keep her that little bit warmer.

"Male, maybe 20 to 25 with several knife wounds to the lower back and chest. No identification, but judging from the outfit, just another homeless guy who had no where else to go, but this dark, dingy alleyway." She looked him up and down, before turning back to Beckett; clipboard in hand. "I'll have to take him back to the morgue to do further tests, but as far as I can see, he died from intense bleeding after being stabbed. There's about 5 litres of blood here; that's enough of a loss to kill a man."

Kate nodded in understanding, as she left Lanie to get back to work; whipping out her cell and checking for any texts. Upon seeing that no new ones from Castle had arrived, she dropped it back in her pocket and looked around the crime scene; noticing several areas of blood splatter along the red brick walls that lines the alley.

"Looks like he put up a fight." She spoke to herself, not expecting an reply.

"Sure did, we have blood splatters measuring all along this path. Whoever this man was, he didn't give up easily." Kate turned around, to come face to face with Ryan. "Lanie told me to inform you that this John Doe has skin under his nails; probably from the killer. She's going to test the sample back at the lab, to maybe give us some indicator of who killed our mystery man."

"Uhh..." Kate took her phone out her pocket, checking it for the second time in the last few minutes.

"Beckett...Beckett, are you OK?" Ryan asked, an expression of concern clear in his features.

"Yeah, sure." She sighed, as she put the phone back in her pocket and looked up to her colleague. "Just waiting for a call from someone."

"Ah...and does that happen to be the one and only Richard Castle?" He questioned as her eyes began to widen.

"Sh... I do not need everyone knowing about my personal life; especially Gates!" Kate whispered angrily, whilst Ryan stared at her with wide eyes. "It's hard enough keeping this a secret, without talking about our relationship at work."

"Sorry," he mumbled, before taking off to find Esposito as Kate sighed.

Just then, she heard the mumbling sound of "Like we never loved at all," by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw from inside her pocket; instantly knowing that it was Castle.

"Beckett," she answered after accepting the call.

"Ah..Miss Beckett; Crime fighter on New York city and destroyer of all evil?"

"That would be me," Kate chuckled down the line; the sound of Rick's voice instantly cheering her up. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering why my gorgous girlfriend left me this morning in such a hurry."

"Ah... we got another murder down in Rother Avenue; so much for a quite day in at the office."

"Well...give me twenty and I'll be there with your favourite coffee, in one hand and in the other, the latest book from the Nikki Heat series."

At the mention of his book, Kate's eyes lit up. She loved Castle's books because they was all about the pair of them, fighting crime together with their friends right behind them. She sighed as she recalled the ending of his last book.

"Don't move." Jameson Rook whispered into Nikki's ear; making it tingle in delight as the warmth of his breath drenched her sensitive skin.

"Why?" She replied, stuttering slightly; his lips lightly pressed to her soft spot, just underneath.

"Why?"

"Mmh..."

Jameson grabbed her hips fiercly, pressing her back against his hardness, as she let out a slight moan at the feel of him.

"Why, my sweet, sweet detective,someone appears to be a little... dirty, tonight."

He snaked around her torso, his face so close to her cheek that she could feel the heat, radiating from his body.

Nikki's eyelids fluttered closed as he raised his strong hand and gently caressed her skin, before bring out from behind his back,-

"Beckett, Beckett ?" A voice questioned, as Kate reminiced on just how Castle had the inspiration for all of his books. A smile whipped across her lips, whilst she snapped out of her daydream and faces the one and only... Rick Castle.

"Mmmhh..." She sighed, facing her lover, a grin appearing on her features.

"I bought you th-" But before he had time to finish, Kate had already taken the coffee that he held for her, out of his grasp and placed the lid to her lips.

"Wow," Castle remarked, "Someone really does need their caffine in a morning."

"aha..."Beckett nodded egarly, slurping up the sunshine to her miserable day, greedily. "I need something to wake me up this morning, seen as my partner didn't bother waking up til late."

He smiled sheepishly at her, "Well, maybe you're partner had a late night last night." Rick winked at her, causing her to look away.

A slight blush appeared on her cheeks, her eyelids fluttering down to the ground, as she turned her head back towards him. Kate looked up through long eyelashes to Castle, giving her a fragile, child-like look; knowing that she always won with those big muddy orbs.

"No, don't do those eyes with me." He backed away from her steadily, before hitting his back up against something metalic. He turned around, noticing that it was a old indutrial bin, before staring back at Beckett.

"B-Bu-But Castle," She whined. "You don't even know what I want."

Rick chuckled at his girlfriend.

"I know you well enough, to know that it probably includes you, I and our bed or shower."

"Well..."

"Well?"

"Well," Kate blushed furiously once more, approaching him, placing her hands on his shoulders lightly and bringing her lips to Rick's ear. "I was thinking more like the desk."

She retrackted back, and walked away; swinging her hips slightly, now noticing that the crime scene was empty; no cars but Castle's and her own there.

Rick moaned lightly in the back of his throat.

Oh...this is sweet, sweet tourture.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so sorry that I haven't uploaded ni ages. I thought that I'd already uploaded this chapter but it turns out I only uploaded it onto Wattpad and not here. I should be getting into this more. Hope you like it :{D **

The precinct was deadly silent. It was paperwork day and Kate needed quiet. Her head was pounding violently; which made her was to scream vigorously. The pain slowly eased down to her ears; creeping down her neck as she shook it off.

_Nothing more than a bug... nothing I can't handle. _Kate had reassured herself, though she didn't seem so sure. She'd been suffering for about a week now and every day it seemed to get worse. Closing her eyes, she slouched in her chair; rubbing her palms over her eyelids. Kate felt exhausted, though with her's and Castle's recent demand in activity, she wasn't surprised.

Her eyes suddenly flicked open when she heard something bang onto her desk.

"What the-"

Turning, she saw Castle stood there, a coffee in one hand as hers was placed on her desk.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned; taking the coffee and drinking it greedily; ignoring her stomach's protests. He smiled; taking a seat beside her chair.

"I just thought that I'd pay all of my colleagues a visit," He grinned; cute dimples appearing on his cheeks; making Kate beam. She knew that he was there to see him; which made her heart swell.

"Well unless you wanna help ou-" She was cut off by Ryan striding into the office; papers held high as his voice boomed across the room.

"Kate!"

"Yes?" She questioned; her headache returning as she felt like she was about to puke thanks to the coffee that had made her unsettled stomach even worse. Her head soon found her hands as she resting it there; feeling terribly faint.

"Are you alright?" Both Castle and Ryan asked at the same time. She raised her head and looked at the pair.

"Sure I'm fine! I'm just feeling a little under the weather; nothing a few tablets won't fix." Kate smiled at them reassuringly;Castle still having a worried scowl on his face, before Ryan cleared his throat..

"So, as I was going to say. We have a lead. It turns out that our vic was accustomed to let's say, the more lavish lifestyle. BMWs, call girls; you name it, he had it."

Castles listened tentatively, whilst Kate struggled desperately to hear everything. She felt like she was underwater; Ryan above, disrupting his words.

"Kate, Kate?"

"Umm... sorry. What was you saying?" The two men raised their eyebrows at her, worryingly.

"Maybe you should go home; get some rest." Ryan suggested; though Kate quickly dismissed it.

"No, that won't be necessary; I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Well in that case, we're going to go over to his apartment. We were granted with a warrant, so that may explain to us why he had all this cash yet never worked a day in his life. The system shows that no family had died recently so no inheritance."

Kate stood up and grabbed her jacket that sat on the back of her chair. Ryan left the couple to go and find Javier as Kate snuggled up into her coat; appreciating the heat after suddenly going cold.

"Are you sure that you're OK?" Castle asked once more; whispering.

"Castle, I'm sure. Let's just go."

With that, she walked out of the precinct; heels clapping along the tiled flood; Castle following shortly behind.

Heading outside, the sunlight almost blinded her, thanks the the dull bulbs of the precinct. That's when her head really began to spin. She grabbed onto Castle's jacket to try and keep herself up as he turned around to see her eyes drooping closed. Kate's vision blurred; until only Castle's panicked face in view. Then everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, I started writing this one about an hour ago. Thanks for the really quick reviews. I do know where I'm going with the book...just bare with me, please? I'm being quite cruel on this chapte to you lot... sorry :L **

The constant hum of the heart monitor sang softly as Castle's head rested on the stiff bed that Kate lay on. His hand gripped hers, as he snored lightly. She'd been unconscious for the past two days and Castle never left her side; though the doctors reminded him over and over that she was going no where. They of course did not know Kate Beckett. He realised that as soon as she found out where she was, she'd be out of that building faster that Usain Bolt. He knew the pain that she felt every time that they drove past that building; the building that almost held her frosty corpse. He knew that she sat on some nights, alone in darkness; sobbing her aching heart out at the prospect that she could have been dead. He knew that she still wasn't over her attack, nor did he expect her to be. He knew that she feared the place, and waking up there would only cause her more trauma.

She wriggled uncomfortably underneath the thin, itchy blankets as her body began to ache. Her head felt like a drum, pounding, beat after beat. Her arms felt heavy; like a tonne of brick had just been piled on. Her legs, she couldn't feel her legs. As her eyelids began to peel back, she couldn't see anything, except the pale blue ceiling of the hospital ward. She could faintly make out the machine besides her, though the pulsing in her brain drowned out most of it. _So this is what Hell felt like? _She moaned at the pain as the heart monitor began to get louder. It beeped, sending a buzzing to her ears. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

'Everything's going to be OK, Kate." She told herself, though the lack of water caused it to escape as more of a croak. She chocked back the scorching sensation in her throat, as she felt something hit her waist. Peering up at her, was Castle. His unruly hair stuck out at acute angles, as his charming, boyish grin adorned his face. For a minute, they just lay there. Not a word was spoken, nor a move made. A comfortable silence loomed in the air, which gave Castle time to realise that she hadn't left yet.

"I know what you're thinking."

"Mh.."

"You're wondering why I'm still here."

Castle pondered how she could possibly know that, yet he came up empty handed. She knew everything that he was thinking. Sometimes, his over active imagination drifted off to a place where Kate was a mind reader, some secret power that gave her the authority in the relationship. Her ability to read people was unnerving, yet that was what made him feel safe. She knew if he was agrivated; worried, upset. She knew if he had done something wrong; with that dimpled smirk and glistening eyes. She knew everything about him.

"I'm staying because I need to know what happened, and why I am here."

At that moment, as if planned, a woman, in the stereotypical white doctor's coat tapped on the glass panelled door and entered. In her arms, she grasped a clipboard and had a pair on specs of the bridge of her nose. She reminded Kate of Lanie and grinned with an almost perfect set of teeth.

"G'd morning Miss Beckett." She cheered "My name's Dr Anderson and I'll be your nurse while you stay here with us."

Kate inwardly groaned. There was no way that she was going to spend any more time in the god forsaken place. It smelled like the dead, held the dying and release the living. It was one of the only places that she couldn't stand. Granted, she worked around the dead day after day, yet she could only withstand the stench of rotting flesh for so long. She had to get out of there, and soon.

"Please, call me Kate; though I don't have time to be lying here, when I need to be back at work."

"Nonsense Kate."

She glared at Castle with daggers in her eyes. Though she understood that he was doing it for her own good, she couldn't help but feel anger at him. He knew how she felt. He knew about all the memories, the dreams, the nightmares, yet he still insisted.

"I'm sorry, please ignore my boyfriend here. He seems to be a little... sleep deprived."

Kate turned to face the woman after staring at Castle intensely and smiled. Dr Anderson returned the gesture, before staring at Kate's notes.

"Well, I'll check at the staff base and see if you're fit enough to go home. A nurse will be here shortly to check your vitals and then we'll take it from there."

She nodded and gave a victorious smirk to Castle. He only looked down at the bedding and tuttered. _She was just too stubborn. _

"I better be off, I'll see you later Kate, Mr Castle."

With that, she opened the door, about to step out, before Kate called, "what happened to me." The doctor stopped, and stepped back inside, shutting the door behind her and bringing the clip board to eye level.

"You're..."


	5. Chapter 5

The patter of feet padded along the laminate flooring of Castle's apartment. A hiss was released, as the sound of banging echoed through the house. Profanities was swore and tuts were muttered. With a flick of the switch, the light in the kitchen was lit and in stepped Kate in one of Castle's t-shirts. She hung onto the wall as if her life depended on it; leaving the hospital was definitely a mistake. _High stress levels and dehydration; _that's what the doctors had said. As Dr Anderson entered her room, Kate didn't know what to expect, and when she was asked if she was willing to do a pregnancy test, her reply was less than enthusiastic. Though as soon as the negative sign appeared, she hopped off the lid of the toilet and into the room; a glorious smile key in her facial features. She was not pregnant.

As a fierce wave of nausea hit her, she moaned in the back of her throat and ran to the bathroom; though the constant pain in her head caused a ringing in her ears. _Shit! _Was all that came into her mind. _For once, could my life be normal? T_hat wish was not granted though, as the bile rose in her throat; causing her to gag once more and empty what little food she had in her stomach into the bowl below. She hung her head down the toilet; feeling the weight of it increase with every passing second.

Finally having the energy to move, she steadied herself up and walked over to the sink, before brushing her teeth and washing her face; making her feel that little bit looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She looked like death herself. Her sickly pale skin looked paper thin, her cheeks bony and her eyes encircled with shadows. Her lips were dry, despite being washed only seconds ago. She was a wreck.

Exiting the room, she stumbled to the kitchen and opened the cupboards. Pop tarts or fruit loops? That was the question. She soon decided on the box of loops and took a bowl out of the cabinet. Going into the fridge, Kate reached for the milk, yet another wave of dizziness hit. She felt like she was on a carousel, going faster and faster with every turn. The room span, and she was soon on the floor, the milk carton empty as the contents pooled around her.

**A/N: Sorry that this is really short. I know that a lot of people will want to kill me because she isn't pregnant... bear with me, I know what I'm doing (I think.) I promised my fans on Wattpad an update a few days ago and I kind of went back on that because I had to finish my chapter for "Secrets of a School Girl." If you fancy checking it out, just type into google 'Secrets of a school girl' and then 'EmmaMillard' (all one word) and it should come up. It's getting published once I've finished it, so if you do want to read it, then I suggest you do while it's still online. **

**Also, I recommend that you get a Wattpad account. It's free and there so many books, poems and songs on there. I've been a loyal member for 2 years and I am still on it everyday. You can write your own stories, contact other writers and take part in competitions.(and there are fanfics on there too.) **

**Thanks for reading! Any comments would be appreciated.**

**In reply to phnxgl, the move from the hospital to the loft was deliberate. Basically, she was in the hospital and got sent home; sorry if that wasn't clear. **

**:{D **


	6. Chapter 6

**Bleh. I found out that I never actually posted this chapter, since it's been on my wattpad for about a month... whoops **

**People may be getting a little annoyed that it's not really going anywhere yet, but I have plans. If you don't wanna carry on reading, then that's cool. **

The next time that Kate awoke, she was laid in the comfort of her and Castle's bed; a headache that sounded as loud as the whole New York city put together hammering against the confinements of her skull. Her vision was blurry; the ceiling; normally a canvas of greys and blues was now a sea of colours; slashing away at the paneling of the wood. The light from the blinds shone through, and reflected into her corneas; the thump of the headache increasing. A burning, deep inside of her stomach made her flick back the covers with as much strength as she could muster, and climb out of the bed. Her legs felt weak, hands clammy, and the scorching of the rising bile kept her gagging, again and again and again. For one moment, she thought that she would pass out, yet hung onto the wall for dear life, though the pattering of footsteps along the laminate kept her focused. She had to get out of there. In an instant, Castle was besides her, grasping - ever so gently - onto the narrow skin of her waist. He lifted her up, into his arms bridal style, and carried her to the bathroom, as she moulded to fit his body. Her head rested in the crook of his neck, and for a moment, she let her eyes droop.

The whispering of Castle's 'come on sweetheart' woke Kate from the nap that only lasted momentarily. Though it was virtually no time at all, the sickness had subsided, and her headache eased a little. Castle lowered her onto the ground, ever so slightly, making sure to keep her steady, and began to undress her. Kate was too exhausted to know any different, and rested against his arm that lay snaked around her lower back. Carefully, he removed the tank that he'd changed her into after her fall, along with the sports bra and black booty shorts, before picking her up once more, and slowly placing her into the ludicrously warm water of his double jet tub. His sleeves were rolled back, as she lay against the bath; her eyes now closed as she sighed, before her breathing became shallow, and she was asleep. Castle sat on the lid of the toilet, and watched her carefully. The soft rise and fall of her chest kept Castle's mind at rest, as all possible scenarios raced through his mind.

When he had found her earlier that morning, her head slammed against the marble island; whilst her body lay limp, his brain went into overdrive, and he panicked. However, throughout all of the thoughts that made his brain pound, her safety was his main concern. He'd picked her up, so that her body fit snugly in his arms, and took her to the bedroom, making sure to place her on the bed with ultimate care. Though it nagged him in the back of his mind that he should call 911, the prospect of Kate being back inside scared him. She coped last time, but that was only because she wanted to know what was going on. She wanted to know if she was getting out of there, or being told that she had some incurable disease that would break her piece by piece. Castle couldn't face the tug on his heart strings if that did happen. For so long, he'd hid his emotions, and when he finally had her in his grasp, she was gone.

However, she wasn't fully his, yet. Though her heart belonged well and truly with Castle, she still remained Josh's. He was away in Africa, helping treat Malaria in the slums, and Kate felt that it was only fair to tell him when he returned that she could no longer be his. It affected Castle slightly, but the reminder that she was his, and he was her's is what kept him going. No matter what happened, they were together, and that's something that he cherished every day, and would continue doing for the rest of his life. Instead of calling the ambulance service, he called one of the only people that he could think of.

When Lanie answered her cell, he could have sworn that he heard several profanities. Her voice was hoarse and icy when she spoke, and Castle immediately regretted calling, though this was too important to moan about.

"Castle, if you rang to tell me that your at the police station again, and on the other side of the bars, don't think that I will come down there without telling Beckett." Her words were harsh, though if the situation wasn't so serious, he would have laughed.

"La...lanie" he stuttered; barely able to form her name. Tears streamed down his cheeks as Kate's breathing began to get slower. He placed a masculine hand to her forehead, and felt the cool sweat that dripped out of her pores. She was burning, and he had no idea what to do. "It's Ka..ate."

He knew at that moment, that Lanie was now fully awake. She'd never heard Richard Castle cry, and this is what worried her to the point of frantically getting out of bed; slipping on her discarded trousers from the day before, and exiting her house. Meanwhile, Castle tried to explain what was happening, though all she could understand was 'Ka..te, Kit.. , Fall."

When she arrived at the loft, Castle immediately rushed her inside to their room, where Lanie began to inspect her. There was a medical bag that hung off her shoulder, that she soon put onto the bed and began unpacking. A thermometer was taken out, before she put it into Kate's mouth and waited. Whilst that was taking its time, Castle paced through the living room. He ran his hand through his already disheveled hair, and rubbed his hands over his face. Lanie appeared within only a few minutes; a satisfied grin adorning her features. For a moment,she took in Castle's appearance, and her smile suddenly vanished. His eyes were red, swollen, and blood shot that was shadowed by heavy bags. He looked worn out, yet the first thing he uttered was 'Is she going to be OK?'

Lanie nodded her head, and once more the smile returned. "It's just a bad case of the flu; it's been going all around the Big Apple for a while now. I suggest lots of bed rest, maybe a hot bath here and there. I'm gonna talk to Gates about her having some time off. There's no way that she is fit to even work at a desk.'

The relief on Castle's face was clear, as he sighed, and in the spur in the moment soon wrapped Lanie up in the muscles of his arms. He felt her stiffen, before she murmured "Castle, get your arms off me now, or I'll make sure you can never have kids again."

She suddenly felt him release her from his grasp as she picked up her leather medical bag that was laid on the floor. Walking over to the door, she nodded to Castle - who was stood in the same spot as before - and left the loft.

As he recalled the past few hours, he noticed that Kate's eyes began to flicker, as she woke up. When she realised where she was, her head rose, and she stared at Castle, who took a large breath and sighed. "How're you feeling?"

She laid back, and closed her eyes once more, before coughing up a reply. "Just dandy."

And with that, she drifted back to sleep, as Castle took her out of the bath, dried her with a plush, white towel, took her back to their bedroom and dressed her, before they both laid down. Kate snuggled into his warmth, as he stroked her hair soothingly and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


End file.
